Rebuttal to “A Modest Proposal”

I received a rebuttal to my last week’s modest proposal to make our president more knowledgeable by having his children read to him from the New York Times, a source that does not specialize in the alternative news he prefers.

No, the rebuttal did not come from the White House. They were apparently too busy to reply to me because of the failure of the attempt to replace “ObamaCare” with what I call “RepublicansDon’tCare.” Imagine it. Their plan would have reduced the number of people with insurance and driven up costs substantially for the poor, especially the elderly. It would have been devastating to rural hospitals. In other words, it was a real hit on Trump voters. It did have the usual Republican carrot — huge tax breaks for the wealthy.

In the aftermath of the failure of the Republican effort, I’m guessing that President Trump’s advisors were busy covering for his statement that he never promised to repeal ObamaCare in only 64 days. Technically he was telling the truth, because he never once said that. He did say at almost every campaign stop that he would repeal ObamaCare on Day One of his presidency. Perhaps he isn’t very good at math either.

I hope it is possible that the White House will now consider my proposal favorably. However, a friend from childhood, Peg Herbert, sent a rebuttal. My modest proposal was predicated on the observation that our president is functionally illiterate, which I defined, without a shred of scientific backing, as being unable to read or comprehend beyond the fifth grade level.

In her rebuttal, Peg offered an alternate explanation of Trump’s erratic behavior. I will quote her entire critique and alternate theory:

Fifth grade? Surely you jest! He never made it that far. But the best part is the current investigation of the Russians. Clive Cussler predicted it all in his 1984 novel “Deep Six”. The president is kidnapped by evil Koreans who sell him to the Russians. And the Russians put a chip in his brain that will let them control what he thinks, says and does, and they can listen in during cabinet meetings. So when the President is delivered back to Washington (he said he was fishing), the first thing he orders is to get all the US troops out of NATO. I couldn’t believe I was reading a 40-year old novel! But the good guys win in the end. I’ll try to be optimistic.

Thanks, Peg. I’ll try to be optimistic too.

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Rusty Harper is outrageously happy because he is retired and living with the love of his life, Pat Callbeck Harper in Helena, Montana. So why does he inflict these ramblings on the rest of us, you ask? Because you deserve it. If you aren’t smart enough not to read this stuff, then you have to suffer through it. Maybe that builds character, though I doubt it.

Think of all the positive things you could do with the time you are wasting on things that occur to me in the night and then sound strange even to me when I write them down in the morning. Bake a cake. Complain to your Senator. Run for Congress. Do something.

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