George-isms

I was rummaging through some old boxes yesterday and ran across a page of sayings and stories jotted down for future use by our father, the late Rev. George Harper.

Like every good comedian-theologian, I’m sure he used each in exactly the right time and place. You can figure whether any of these work for you.

**You can tell if you are on the right track. It’s usually uphill.

**Those who can’t forget are worse off than those who can’t remember.

**It’s okay to drink like a fish, if you drink what a fish drinks.

**Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.

**The person who doesn’t read good books has no advantage over the person who can ‘t read.

**At Penn State, four sophomores in a chemistry class were certain they were getting an A. The weekend before the final test, they partied all weekend and were so hungover they got up too late Monday for the test. They explained to the professor they were visiting friends back home and had a flat tire. The professor agreed to allow them to make up the test the next day. After studying hard that day and evening, the students showed up the next morning, only to have the professor put them in four different rooms to take the final. There were two pages on the test. The first page was a fairly simple chemistry problem, with a note at the bottom that it was worth 5% of the grade. On page 2, which was labeled “95% of the grade,” was only one question. “Which tire?”

**Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain.

**We can only live in the here and now. Always be of service here and now.

**No matter what may be your lot in life, build something on it.

**Life is like a taxicab. The meter keeps running whether we are going anywhere or not.

**A woman took her son aside after a basketball game and asked, “Son, do you know what a team is?” He nodded yes.
“Do you understand that you win or lose as a team, and not as an individual?” He nodded again.
“Do you know that when a foul is called, you should not argue or curse, and you must not call the referee a jerk?” Again a nod.
“And when they take you off the court so that some other boy gets a chance to play, do you know it is not good sportsmanship to call your coach a dumb bastard? Do you understand that?” The boy said, “Yes mom.”
“Good. Now go explain all of that to your father.”

**Life’s journey keeps opening ahead of us, even when we can’t see around the dogleg of the future. So keep moving.

**No matter how many friends you have, the number of folks at your funeral will always be determined by the weather.

**Play your best and then step off the field.

That’s the way to start out a new year — ready to laugh and not take ourselves too seriously, and looking to say the right thing at the right time and place.

About admin

Rusty Harper is outrageously happy because he is retired and living with the love of his life, Pat Callbeck Harper in Helena, Montana. So why does he inflict these ramblings on the rest of us, you ask? Because you deserve it. If you aren’t smart enough not to read this stuff, then you have to suffer through it. Maybe that builds character, though I doubt it.

Think of all the positive things you could do with the time you are wasting on things that occur to me in the night and then sound strange even to me when I write them down in the morning. Bake a cake. Complain to your Senator. Run for Congress. Do something.

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